Dreams or Delusions of the Cursed
by delusions dreamer
Summary: His life was that of a jinchuuriki. He was meant to sacrifice everything from the day he became what he was. Sure, it was horribly unfair but someone had to do it. That didn’t mean that he had to like it though. Yaoi. Total Rewrite.
1. 01 Dreams

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto

**Title: **Dreams or Delusions of the Cursed

**Pairings: **ItaNaru, KyuuNaru. Mentions of past SasuNaru.

**Warnings: REWRITE!! **It's been a long while since I've been able to have time for this fic and I'm terribly sorry for allowing it to go neglected for so long…it's my favorite out of everything that I've ever written and when I sit down and write for it, I want it to be the best that I'm capable of. So that's why I'm making these changes, there will be a few major changes among the story as you read along, although the major elements of the story will be present.

This is a **Yaoi** fic, so if that offends your sensibilities feel free to look elsewhere for entertainment. Also there will be a few alterations to the story line from the manga first and foremost being that Naruto –_did_- succeed in dragging Sasuke back to Konoha during the retrieval mission. That will play a huge element in the story. Also, here Naruto will be 19 in this fic…that's a nice age right?

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**01: Dreams **

Dreams.

According to medic-nins, dreams are nothing more than the brain processing memories and thoughts while it is in an unconscious state. A hodgepodge of the day's events, which sorted itself in the myriad of neural pathways that was the human mind. A means of filtering away memories in a manner that allows the mind to recharge and refresh for the next day.

Ancient civilizations believed that dreams were the key to understanding the future, that dreams were a window to the spiritual world and that all one had to do was look and they would learn of the future.

Most people believed that dreams were something along those lines.

Naruto Uzumaki was not most people.

Naruto believed that dreams were a door to the past.

And for him they were.

Naruto didn't want to remember his past.

His life was that of a jinchuuriki. He was meant to sacrifice everything from the day he became what he was. Sure, it was horribly unfair but someone had to do it. Naruto understood that perfectly.

That didn't mean that he had to like it though.

So, Naruto loathed sleep. For to sleep meant to dream and to dream meant to remember and above all else he did not want to remember.

It hurt too much.

To partake in, what would be for a normal person, a brief respite from the waking world would mean to plunge headfirst into a freefall into a slideshow of his nightmarish past.

To close his eyes would mean that he would, again, bear witness to the beatings that he took in spades as a child, the chronic neglect he suffered at the hands of various 'guardians' and foster families who constantly 'forgot' to feed him or give him medical attention when he needed it, the terror that he had to endure as an innocent little one when someone believed that he needed to be taught a lesson for nothing more than existing.

All of this would come back to the forefront of his mind. They would no longer be relegated to the furthest corners of his mind, where they could safely be stored without harming him.

And so Naruto never slept.

And so the nightmares of the past no longer plagued him.

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Naruto busied himself, preparing his living room for his nightly ritual. There were a few silver and black candles lit within the room, along with a few sticks of lavender scented incense.

Enough to sooth his weary nerves but not enough to put him to sleep.

Naruto was on his hands and knees drawing a very complicated and ornate seal on the ground of his living room. His eyes were narrowed in determination and he chewed on his lower lip, as he concentrated at the task at hand.

After about an hour, he was done and looked at the seal with a sense of accomplishment.

The _Fuuin no Ikoi._

An S-rank seal that, when done correctly, would recharge the mind and body, while keeping the person using the seal in an altered state of consciousness that was similar to sleep but not. It was more of a meditative stance than anything else. It permitted the user to rest up, while keeping them alert to the world around them.

The seal was not dangerous. Complicated? Yes. Dangerous? No.

Jiraiya had told him that the primary reason that it was classified as being so dangerous was because Orochimaru was the one who created it. Apparently in his younger years he had already amassed such a long list of enemies, that he had no choice but to forgo sleep in order to survive both in the battlefield and in his own village.

'Figures,' Naruto thought.

Somehow the idea of the snake bastard amassing a huge amount of enemies when he was around Naruto's age didn't seem too far out of the realm of possibilities.

His thoughts then went to Gaara. Gaara (who at the time seemed suspiciously well rested…for him, at least) was the one who introduced him to this seal (which he learned from a scroll that he had stolen from his father when he was younger) and Ero-sennin (who caught them creating the seal.) After explaining the situation to Toad Hermit he agreed to help them and altered the seal, so it could function as a permanent replacement for sleep, seeing as how originally it was only meant to be used sparingly.

The Toad Hermit also made it a point to teach both jinchuuriki the art of Fuuin jutsu in the event that they ever needed to make alterations on the seal or if there were ever any issues with their demon seals that needed correction. What Jiraiya didn't tell either vessel was that he had been incredibly impressed that two 'brats' had managed to pull off a very complex seal with nothing more than need and drive guiding them.

Naruto was contemplating bribing the sennin with his Oiroke no Jutsu (1) technique to get the man to just tattoo the seal onto his skin. That would certainly make things much easier for him. If he were on a mission there was no way that he would have the time to create such a complicated seal and also it would look suspicious to anyone he was working with to just see him perform an allegedly dangerous and forbidden seal with a degree of familiarity. That would easily result in him getting into trouble with the higher ups.

Not that he wasn't already on the top of their list of 'People to Hate' but still, he had to be careful.

No reason to give the council of Konoha another reason to give him the stink eye. He got that enough by just breathing.

Briefly, as he did every night, he contemplated if he should go to Tsunade, but decided against it. Sure she was the closest thing he ever had to a mother, and sure he felt rotten for not telling her, but it was for the best. It wasn't that he didn't trust her; it was just that she was a medic-nin through and through. Apart from the fact that if she ever caught wind of what he was doing, she'd likely have a brain aneurysm at the thought of him using something Orochimaru created, she'd confine him to the hospital, like any medic-nin worth their salt, and in order for him to get checked out.

That, unfortunately, was out of the question. Naruto remembered the last time he had to stay at the hospital. There were still many medic-nin's with a grudge against him for containing the Kyuubi and there was no way that he'd ever go trouncing into the lions den. He still had nightmares as to what happened to him in the hospital after he managed to drag Sasuke back to Konoha in less than mint condition. The only reasons that the blonde wasn't outright murdered was because of Tsunade and Shizune, but Naruto wasn't about to take any chances. The numerous gashes and scars imparted onto him by hateful medic-nins often took months to heal, even with the Kyuubi healing him nonstop.

Naruto shook off those thoughts like he did every night and sat within the seal.

After a few hand seals, his entire body relaxed immediately and Naruto began his rest.

----------

As Naruto fell into the peaceful state of meditation, he felt the familiar pull in his mind that signified a chat with his 'guest.'

The closest thing that he could liken the sensation to was that of a free fall.

As he walked down the corridor to the fox he couldn't help but look at his surroundings with a sense of accomplishment. Throughout the years, he had learned to change the surroundings in his mind; right now it resembled a beautiful palace. The walls and floors were a deep sapphire and the halls were decorated with beautiful paintings or open scrolls that the Kyuubi had wanted him to become accustomed with. When he reached the cage he couldn't help but sigh, he found that while he could change the inner portions of the chamber in which the fox was located, he could not remove the cage door itself. That was a part of the seal and could not be altered, no matter how hard he tried.

'Sorry I can't do anything about the cage,' Naruto said softly to the figure in the cage.

'**It's alright, brat. It's not like any of this was your doing, so don't worry about it,' **a smooth, deep voice sounded off.

The blonde boy walked down the palatial halls towards the source of the voice and came across a humanoid figure. Said figure before Naruto was that of the infamous Kyuubi no Yoko, the most powerful and feared of all the demons within the realm of mortals. Naruto absently remembered the first time that he saw him in his human form. He found himself gaping like someone had manually undone the cables connecting his brain to his body.

Kyuubi appeared every bit, the regal and powerful being that he was, that element of his character seemed to be present regardless of whatever form he chose to present himself in. The demon took the form of a tall, broad shouldered red-head. His hair, a fiery red compared to Gaara's darker hue, was long and flowed down to his waist. His skin tone was slightly darker than Naruto's, taking in a deep bronze. His eyes were a deep silver, always giving a shimmer that usually reflected amusement or in certain moments agitation.

The only thing covering the demon's modesty, or lack thereof, were a loose pair of slacks that showed off his happy trail.

All in all, he was a rather sexy bastard.

If Naruto was honest with himself, he'd admit that the fox was an incredibly handsome individual in this particular form…well he did admit it, just not out loud. The demon would tease him unmercifully if he made his thoughts public. Not that it would save him from any teasing, the fox had a habit of finding out what the blonde was thinking and bothering him with it.

Like when he first showed off his humanoid form to the blonde one.

Naruto remembered that day well because one moment he was talking to a…well…fox and the next moment there was the single most handsome man he had ever seen before him wearing naught a stitch of clothing on his delectable body. Kyuubi picked up on the blonde's reaction which was a mix of blushing and sputtering about like an idiot. Hell, every once in a while the fox saw fit to flash the boy.

It just happened to be a kink of his.

The blonde jinchuuriki learned many things that day, but one will forever stand out in his mind: Kyuubi was an exhibitionist of the highest caliber and absolutely delighted in teasing him with his body.

But for all the perversion that the fox was capable of, he was a relatively nice guy.

_Relative_ being the key word.

He was an asshole first and foremost.

Kyuubi was a blunt individual to put it mildly. If he believed that Naruto was being a whiny idiot at any particular moment, he would say so. Of course if he believed that the blonde did something impressive, then he'd express that as well.

It was annoying, but refreshing.

Naruto never had to guess where he stood with the demon and for that he was rather grateful. It wasn't the guessing game that he had to engage in with the vast majority of the villagers and shinobi.

It was difficult, though, to get an unbiased opinion of how things in his daily life were. The demon for the most part held humans in _very_ low regard. Naruto had proved himself to be one of the few exceptions to that opinion, as well as a few other individuals that the blonde had encountered in his life; such as Haku. Naruto had asked him once long ago just why that was. The demon merely replied that it was something that that it was something that could not be easily explained and that it was truth that he would learn for himself in time.

The second thing that Naruto had come to learn about the demon was that he was a perfectionist of the highest order.

It was Kyuubi, as well as Naruto's belief, that anything that was worth doing was worth doing right. This was a belief that had been directly applied to his training regimen. During Naruto's formative years, his education at the hands of the academy had been spotty at best, so whenever he was visited by the Sandaime or was under the guardianship of some of the kinder who would take the time to teach him things like reading, writing and, later on, basic shinobi lessons, Naruto would take what he learned and go over them almost obsessively till he was able to remember and apply said lessons by rote.

Many in the village to this very day claim the boy to be nothing more than a dead last, but that was merely the biased opinion.

No normal child, let alone an idiot, could survive all alone in a village of hostile ninja. In all honesty, it was a marvel that no one other than the Sandaime and those that Naruto trusted picked up on the boy's rather impressive survival abilities.

Hatred is truly the ultimate blinder of common sense.

But it is perhaps that hatred that allowed him to live for so long, for there was no telling what sort of danger he would have exposed himself to if the wrong people noticed him.

Kyuubi gazed at his young vessel with profound amusement dancing in his eyes, '**So brat, how have things been amongst the ningen?' **

The demon asked this nearly every night, not because he cared about the humans that Naruto interacted with because he didn't, but he understood that the humans in Naruto's life were immensely important to him.

And if _his_ brat was upset, he was upset. Not that he'd ever tell the blonde that, the blonde would likely get an over inflated ego and come whining to him every time someone denied him ramen.

Naruto sighed in exhaustion, 'Depends on who you're talking about. The pervert, hag and Iruka-nii are fine, same old routine with them. Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino are doing a lot better and they're helping Kurenai with the baby…she's doing better now too, but you can tell that she really misses Asuma-nii (2),' Naruto looked a little sad at the mention of the man, 'I miss him too…he'd be proud to see that the baby looks just like him.'

'**Kid, his spirit is probably around his mate and kit right now making sure that they're fine.'**

'Really? Then why haven't I seen him yet? Normally I'd be able too.' (3)

The demon shrugged his shoulders, **'He's probably more focused on making sure that his family's alright than wanting to make chit-chat with such a scrawny, annoying little bratlet like you.'**

Naruto's cheeks puffed out in indignation at the remark. This made Kyuubi quite pleased, annoying the brat never got old.

The fox just game him a smirk, **'How are the other ningen doing?'**

Naruto gave him a glare, not forgetting the teasing the fox put him through, 'Everyone else is doing fine. Sasuke's still a dick though and Sakura still pretty much hates me…but other than that there's nothing out of the norm, no one's on a mission at the moment, so they're safe for now…'

Kyuubi frowned as the blonde's tone became a bit sad at the mention of his former teammates. Neither were pleased with the blonde ever since the retrieval mission. The Uchiha was enraged being defeated by someone he considered a weak, submissive partner and the female's fury was for the realization that she would never be of even passing importance to the male that she wanted.

Stupid, selfish, worthless trash in his opinion, that didn't deserve to breathe the same air as the one that they had hurt so badly.

Neither were worthy of someone as special as Naruto, but that didn't ease the blonde's pain. He quickly moved to finish that train of thought, **'That is good, although such moments of peace are a rarity in this world.'**

The blonde jounin nodded and gave a small smile, 'True, but all the same I'm still thankful that everyone is safe.'

Kyuubi nodded, and his frown melted to an immensely lecherous smirk that would have sent virgins running in terror and Naruto too, had said blonde been paying attention, **'To hear you speak in such a manner…You're such a bottom my dainty little Naruto...'**

Naruto flicked him off in response still not recognizing the danger his chastity was no in.

The demon's smirk grew even wider, **'There's nothing I love more than a saucy uke…' **and with that said he reached through the bars of his prison and gave Naruto (who had been leaning on the bars to his prison) a very hearty squeeze to the ass.

The blonde just looked at the demon with open mouthed shock, stupefied into silence. Kyuubi made a mental note to grope the blonde more if it got him a few minutes of peace and quiet. It also helped that the boy's ass felt as though it were made for groping.

'**Now that is nice…why haven't I done this before?' **

Naruto turned crimson at the comment and tried to get free to no avail; his ass was now the demon's hands which currently had no intention of letting go anytime soon.

'Y-YOU PERVERT!' Naruto screamed his cheeks now the most charming shade of rouge, 'HANDS OFF MY ASS!'

The fox demon purred heavily, totally enamored by the power of the ass in his hands. The ass in his hands was of mystical proportions, he was sure of it.

'KYUUBI!!'

Violent struggling was met with failure, for Kyuubi was quite happy where he was at this point in time…not to mention that after 19 years of celibacy, this was heaven.

Naruto took one look at the demon's face and saw that he had the same perverted leer that Jiraiya possessed when he found a way of peeping on Tsunade without risk of death…until she did find out and almost killed him.

Not that this wasn't all that bad.

It _had_ been an awfully long time since he last had a lover and it _was_ nice to be thought of in a desirable manner, but having the fox look like he was going to start humping his leg was a bit much.

'**Mmmmmm…,'** Kyuubi purred drunkenly, now rubbing his face against Naruto's crotch and massaging Naruto's ass in a manner that could only be described as obscene.

So with that a very flushed Naruto took a deep breath, grabbed Kyuubi's hands (whose grip has slackened in his attempt to feel every nook and cranny of the blonde's ass) and pried them off his ass as quickly as possible.

After Naruto managed to free himself and get a few feet away from the demon, Kyuubi whimpered that the mystical ass was gone.

'**Oh mystical ass, why oh why did you leave my grip?' **Tears were pouring out of the demon's silver eyes in mourning of said ass's liberation.

Naruto's eye twitched and then he flushed when he saw a _very_ large tent in Kyuubi's pants, 'Horny much?'

Silver eyes looked at him in want and frustration, **'19 years of celibacy will do that to a man, all the missed ruts…all the ukes that I could have rammed into…all the bitches I could have rode…it's been a nightmare…'**

Naruto, although ready to slug the pervert before him, felt a little bad for the demon, he was having problems adjusting to a life of celibacy and it had only been a few months since his last sexual encounter, 'You're in a rut _now_? As in _right_ now?'

'**Yes…the mystical ass brought it forth, teasing me with its perfection and taunting me with its perkiness…it's like it speaks to me… "Please Kyuubi-sama; I crave your hot stick of man meat in me! Please, please satisfy my needs!!"' **A pout and tears accompanied his declaration of perversion, making for a rather awkward silence.

'You really are a dirty, _dirty_ fox…you know that right?'

The demon was about to say something to Naruto when he stopped and thought of something better, silver eyes lighting up with the unholy light of perversion. Naruto, finally noticing the danger his virginity was now in, backed away slowly making sure to keep an eye on the pervert before him.

'Kyuubi? What are you up to?'

Kyuubi grinned creepily, **'Do you really want to know my sweet little uke?'**

Right as Naruto was about to answer…or run and scream…whichever, he felt a tug on his consciousness.

'It'll have to wait, I have to wake up,' Naruto answered, more than glad for the diversion.

The demon tilted his head to the side and smiled, **'That's alright. I'll molest you later.'**

Naruto's eye twitched at the declaration and he decided to leave before things got weirder than they already were.

Two blue eyes snapped open to see Jiraiya's amused face not two inches from his own.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Naruto freaked at the closeness, while Jiraiya laughed heartily at the small blonde's reaction.

"What the hell?! Haven't you ever heard of personal space?!"

The older man watched Naruto sputter and squawk indignantly for a few moments with a shit-eating grin that showed just how much he truly enjoyed getting under the blonde's skin.

Which he did.

"When you're finished whining clean up and pack up, we need to be in Suna in a few days."

Naruto stopped and looked at Jiraiya curiously, "Why?"

"The creepy brat's (4) got information on Akatsuki and he's made it more than clear that he's not talking to me unless you're there…Really gaki, how the hell do you manage to get all the ice queens to give you the hairy eyeball?"

A furious crimson flush rose to his cheeks, "I'm going to go get packed," and with that Naruto arose and rushed to him room to pack.

Jiraiya smirked at the boy's response before pulling out a small notebook and starting to write in it, giggling the entire time.

"_Sensual Kitsune Chronicles, Chapter 1: The Dreamer and the Desert Prince…"_

_----------_

**Footnotes:**

(1) Oiroke no Jutsu: Sexy Technique

(2) I'm going under the assumption that since Naruto was cared for by the Sandaime, he had a good relationship with Asuma.

(3) I was watching an episode of the Ghost Whisperer when I was doing the rewrite; it seemed like an interesting power for Naruto to have.

(4) Jiraiya's name for Gaara…kind of mean….but it seems like something that he'd say right?

**Glossary:**

**Fuuin no Ikoi: **seal of rest (most likely incorrect, I came up with it and tried my hand at translation)

**A/N:** I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm going to try and update on a regular basis so that this fic won't languish in the annals of the internet as it did before. Thank you so much for reading and for all the marvelous reviews…I will do my best not to let you all down.

P.S. Spoilers for Manga Chapter 398…well…not really

Has anyone read the latest chapter of Naruto?! Hot damn the Shodai's hot! And so is Madara! Kinda makes me want to write something about them…I am however wondering we'll be seeing more of the Nidaime anytime soon…He's practically the most neglected character in the manga…I think the only time he was seen was during the whole Hokage battle…


	2. 02 Delusions

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. That honor goes to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Title: **Dreams or Delusions of the Cursed

**Pairings: **ItaNaru, KyuuNaru. Mentions of past SasuNaru, slight one-sided GaaNaru

**---**

**02 Delusions**

**---**

Mental disorders are a common feature among the shinobi populaces of villages all over the various countries.

A fact that is disturbing to most civilians who have no personal tie to the shinobi world. To shinobi, this fact is something that is easily understood.

The life of a shinobi is an incredibly harsh one, full of pain from beginning to end and in some instances beyond the end for those that found themselves in unlucky enough spots. So when a shinobi found that they were coming apart at the seams, no one was really surprised.

It was something that was easily forgotten at times, but shinobi were _human_ and susceptible to the weaknesses of humans.

After all, one could only be bent so far and come out as they started.

According to the official medic-nin diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, a delusion is classified as: _"A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary. The belief is not one ordinarily accepted by other members of the person's culture or subculture (e.g., it is not an article of religious faith)."_

An example of someone suffering from delusional paranoia would be if someone had the belief that there are people out to get them and watching them. In many cases the individual suffering from such a delusion, if they are a civilian, are most likely suffering from some sort of mental illness or defect.

Now if a shinobi came up and said that they thought that someone was out to get them and that they were being watched, in the vast majority of the cases there usually _**was**_ someone after them.

Of course, this is just scraping the surface as to what a delusion may or may not be though.

The haze of delusion and potential insanity was something that shinobi had to navigate through on a daily basis and question the actions of almost everyone that they meet.

'Am I being told everything that I need to know for this mission?'

'Why are the higher ups paying so much attention to me?'

'Do they view me as an asset?'

'Do they view me as a threat?'

'Is the mission that I'm being sent on an actual mission or a set up?'

'Is my recent posting to my rank a good or bad thing?'

'Am I being taken advantage of?'

'Can I trust this person?'

'Why should I trust this person?'

'Can I trust _anyone_?'

Such a life was filled with nothing but questions that were always changing and shifting, that there was no hope for a permanent answer. There was no such thing as a concrete 'yes' or 'no.'

Those who managed to earn a high ranking or position in their village or organizations often found themselves plagued endlessly by such thoughts and feelings. Most had no families or few close friends, for the fear of someone they trust stabbing them in the back is too great for them to ever risk that manner of relationship with others.

It was a painfully lonely existence.

But being embroiled in delusions had its beneficial effects to those who were willing to manipulate the malleable.

Orochimaru is a prime example of someone who was more than willing to twist those who could only be described as lost or broken or alone, to his own needs. One need only look at the various young men and women that often threw their lives away for someone who was clearly a monster caring nothing for their sanity and wellbeing.

It was a sadly simple process, one of which individuals like Orochimaru had become well versed in during the many wars and campaigns that he had fought for Konoha.

He knew through personal experience, that those who suffered the worst wounds, the kind that were so deeply intertwined into their very being, made for the greatest of warriors.

And the most easily manipulated.

All he had to do was offer the possibility of the one thing that many of these individuals had been denied in their short lives:

**Acceptance**.

Acceptance for they **could** do.

Acceptance for all that they **couldn't** do.

Acceptance for **all** the little things that made them **unique** as **individuals**; be it **good** or **bad**.

Most of the time, Orochimaru discovered, all it took was a kind word, a pat on the back, promise of rescue from a horrible life and he'd have whomever he helped follow him like an affection starved puppy.

Of course, there were occasions where he had to change his tactics in other to get to the person that he wanted to, but those instances were few and far between.

Orochimaru often found that he could get the discarded children of the various shinobi clans of the different countries to join him; bastard children, those born of leaders and their various concubines, members of branch houses who ran away from lives of slavery, orphans, the abandoned children of missing nin and more. Most were beaten down, physically, mentally and emotionally, until there was nothing left but a yearning for everything that they were denied at their birth by the cruelty of society. Others were cast out, forced to live in the streets and fend for themselves since their earliest memories.

They were often so starved of affection, that the mere possibility of something better than the hellish lives that they had been forced into had them running to him.

Word of his 'compassion' towards those who were declared outcasts had, over time, spread far and wide and soon enough; people came to him in droves in search of sanctuary.

It was easy pickings.

But perhaps the greatest tragedy was that even though many went to Orochimaru, in time, all learned of the demon in human skin that he was; they _stayed_.

After witnessing that the others that sought a good life with their venerated Orochimaru had no true value to him, that they were _nothing_ to him, they stayed.

After seeing that they were to be used and discarded much like a blade after becoming too dull or sharp, they stayed.

After hearing the tortured screams of their comrades as they were used for experiment after experiment, they stayed.

Because deep in their hearts…

_In their souls…_

Each person that had become enamored by the pretty words and rose-colored fantasy world that he presented to them held desperately to the belief that _they_ meant more to their beloved leader than all the others; that _theirs_ was the existence that was treasured by Orochimaru.

Their beliefs, the deep pervading hope that had allowed them to survive their hellish existences for so long, were so strong that their obvious fate never filtered through in time for them to save themselves.

Sadly though, Orochimaru was only one of a _very_ long line of individuals who was more than willing to play with the hearts and minds of others.

And there were masters _**far**_ crueler than he.

------

Jiraiya grimaced as he and Naruto marched steadily under the unforgiving sun of the desert. He wistfully gazed back in the direction from which they came and saw the lush forests of Hi no Kuni, where the sun didn't feel like it was about to melt you into a smoldering pile of ninjutsu wielding goo.

As he felt the sun burn his skin, not unlike the time Tsunade tried to set him aflame in his younger, more lecherous, days for attempting to cop a feel. He took a moment to reflect on just how much he hated to travel to Suna.

Admittedly there were few things in this world that Jiraiya disliked _very_ few things actually, which was surprising considering the rather long and gory career he made for himself as a shinobi. By nature he was rather easy going and took pleasure in many of the small boons that life saw fit to grant him.

Things that many of his peers took for granted, like sex in all in its perverse and wondrous incarnations.

But apart from his love (and lust) for life, there were some things that the Sannin wasn't fond of were:

1. Bras, it was his opinion that women should show their bosoms freely.

2. Panties, another portion of a woman's anatomy that shouldn't be concealed.

3. The wearing of Bras _and_ Panties.

And somewhere really, really low on his list of things he hated (after all the things that had to do with bras, panties, bras _and _panties and so on was: The desert.

So while it wasn't at the absolute top of his 'Things I Really, Really Hate" list, it should be noted that as one of the top three, the desert still garnered an unenviable amount of dislike from the Gama Sannin.

To him, there was absolutely nothing sexy about sand…unless there was a beach and some rather buxom women near it, but alas here there was nothing but the hard unforgiving landscape of the desert. There was also the fact that many of the denizens that called the barren lands their home often dressed up in a manner that would make a nun feel like an underdressed whore. Even if it was for necessity, to protect their bodies from the sand, biting wind and sun, he still mourned the exposure of lovely flesh.

Worst of all, he was traveling across the desert with the brat because the Kazekage, whom he thought was a creepy little brat, wanted to give _his_ brat the hairy eyeball while he gave him information on the Akatsuki.

This had to be the first time that he ever had to accede to the demands of another in order to get the information that he needed. Jiraiya was immensely proud of his spy networks, the many years of hard work that he put into it, apparent in the relative ease that he was able to get very hard to find information with relative ease. But that wasn't to say that he wouldn't do what he needed to do to get the information that he needed.

And although it wounded his pride to have his networks fail him, Jiraiya couldn't help but wonder if perhaps the Kazekage hadn't had a hand in that.

Subaku no Gaara was the youngest Kazekage in the history of Sunagakure, as well as the youngest Kage of all the elemental nations. And regardless of the chatter of those that still despised him, his appointment had _little_ to do with the fact that he was the Jinchuuriki of Shukaku.

Gaara was a very powerful shinobi and a brilliant one as well once the cloud of insanity around him had dissipated after his encounter with Naruto, and quite unexpectedly one _hell_ of a schemer when properly motivated.

Apparently his bratty apprentice was the red head's 'motivation' and the Sannin was pretty sure that he had a good idea as to why.

Jiraiya didn't like the fact that he'd been outsmarted by some little pervert in Kage's clothing. It cut his pride as a ninja and a pervert, in a way that he wasn't entirely comfortable with. But pride had nothing to do with being a shinobi, so he decided to go with it and see what the esteemed Kazekage had.

Reliable information on Akatsuki was almost impossible to come across these days and if the Kazekage knew something, then it was in Konoha's best interest to do what it took to get the information.

The older man looked to Naruto out of the corner of his eye, 'May as well let the brat get a feel for what he's going to have to deal with in the future' and it was true. It was a foregone conclusion that Naruto, being who he was in terms of strength, determination and drive, would one day soon become a Sannin at the very least, much to his sensei's pride.

And it meant that he was going to have to deal with all manner of individuals; ranging from stoic to manic to prudish to horny. In this case Naruto was going to have to deal with a stoic _and_ horny Kage.

For a brief moment, he wondered if Naruto had caught on that he was essentially being pimped off for information.

Most likely not.

Though he adored the boy as though he were his own and recognized that the blonde was a very competent ninja in his own right, said blonde being one of the few people that he could fight on even ground, Naruto was as dumb as a post when it came to noticing the affections that people held for him.

'Perhaps it's for the best…the brat will never stop whining and screaming if he discovers just _how_ much certain people like him,' images of Naruto running out of Suna and Konoha screaming into the wilderness, never to return, came to mind and he had to fight the urge to chuckle at the thought, 'Although it would be fun to watch.'

As they continued their trek, Jiraiya's good humor faded as the sun rose to its midday position and he groaned as it seemed to get even hotter in the past few minutes.

'Shit! I can feel myself burn!'

Jiraiya reached into a pocket and pulled out some sun block and began to rub it all over, hoping that he wasn't burn too badly.

Naruto peeked at the man through the corner of his eye and had to bite the inside of his cheek to not burst out laughing at the man's miserable expression. He didn't think that he'd be able to handle traveling with an agitated Jiraiya across the desert and survive if the man found out that he was laughing at him.

Jiraiya may be an easy going, filthy old lecher, but that was not to say that he lacked a sadistic streak. He was both Orochimaru and Tsunade's teammate, so it stood to reason that some of their more insane behavior rubbed off on him One wrong comment and the Sannin would likely bury him up to neck and leave him there for a _long_ time.

_Not _a pleasant prospect under any circumstance.

'Hold it in Naruto, hold it in. There is no need to have the pervert go insane with revenge before we get to Suna.'

As the blonde walked along beside his sensei, his thoughts drifted along to their current trek to Sunagakure no Sato or rather the reason that they were making said trek to begin with.

'Akatsuki…' he thought to himself.

It had been almost two years since he had heard any word of them. The organization seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth after numerous failed attempts to capture him.

Confusion reigned supreme for a long time.

Naruto remembered walking around in an almost paranoid stupor for a few months. He jumped at every rustling bush, peeked around at every corner, suspected everyone and thing; expecting a cloaked figure to come up and snatch him away to what was sure to be an incredibly painful demise. After a while, he realized that he was being pretty stupid having reasoned to himself that had they really wanted the fox, they would have just taken him in the countless moments that he was alone with no one around to defend him.

Mentally, it was one hell of a place to be before he was able to acknowledge that.

The blonde would be the first person to admit that he was scared. Scared of the people that could do so much harm to him with so little effort, yet in the same breath, having to compliment their skills and acknowledge that they could likely to do him as they please if they decided to come after him. And that was considering all of the training that he had done under the perverted Sannin's tutelage. Naruto had the fox as his trump card if things got hairy, but Akatsuki had numbers that could do much to even out the advantage, not to mention that many of the members were experts in numerous areas, Fuuinjutsu being one of the areas that they specialized in, what with their ability to suck out Biju.

Acknowledging that as difficult as it was proved to be surprisingly cathartic though. Naruto, though normally an optimist, was by manner and experience was a pragmatist of the highest order and didn't like to brood over things that he that weren't in his direct locus of control.

Nothing that was too different from his daily life, when he thought about it.

So a bunch of people wanted him dead for nothing more than the demon within him.

Frankly they could take a fucking number and get in line with all the other people that wanted his balls on a pointy stick for nothing more than the fact that he was the Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi no Yoko.

There was nothing more for him to do at that point but to go along with his daily life.

And so he was able to breathe again.

The first few months of no Akatsuki had been very pleasant. It allowed him to focus on a few goals that had always been just out of reach for the sheer fact that he normally had to leave the period for unspecified durations of time to either train or hide or both.

He'd been able to become a Jounin, much to the dismay of his former teammates Sasuke and Sakura, the former having his shinobi license permanently revoked due to his short-lived attempt to defect to the murderer of the Sandaime, and the latter not being able to rise above Gennin due to her unwillingness to work with other shinobi who viewed the Uchiha as the scum from the bottom of their sandal. Naruto had stopped worrying for them though. He had kept his promise to return the Uchiha; he was bound to neither any longer.

Naruto refused to be their punching bag ever again.

Thinking of any of their past interactions had Naruto pondering the age old adage of, 'How many times do you have to bash your head against a brick wall to tell that it hurts?'

So he decided, after much heartache, to let them go. It hurt too much to care for either one of them. It hurt to much to try and help them heal. It hurt too much to be the one that was blamed for everything. Surprisingly, it hurt most to cut himself loose.

Perhaps it was because he had initially hoped that Team 7 would become the family that he never had and when it turned out badly he felt his heart crack. He remembered the day that he was assigned to the team. Naruto had never been happier. After everything that he had went through, he was no longer alone. He had become a part of a team and even though they didn't get along too well in the academy, Naruto had been certain that they would grow to be friends.

But it didn't turn out that way.

Instead of growing closer, they grew more apart, more divided with every danger and trial; Naruto on one end of the spectrum and Sasuke (with Sakura following) on the other. The greatest example of their growing division had been the decision to exclude him from the knowledge of the cursed seal that Orochimaru had implanted on Sasuke.

Naruto knew for a fact that had anyone on any of the other teams had such a thing done to them, their teammates would be told and they would share that burden and protect each other from harm. They wouldn't leave one of their own ignorant in the face of such an extreme danger. As Sasuke's rage fed the seal on him, perverting him into a sick shell of the broody yet loyal boy he once knew, Sakura kept her mouth shut, not wanting to do anything that would jeopardize whatever feelings she believed the boy had for her.

Naruto wasn't aware that there was anything seriously wrong until the third half of the Chuunin exams when he saw the symbols themselves and even then the suspicions weren't confirmed until he cornered Kakashi about them after the retrieval mission.

The jounin had the balls to admit that he should have told the blonde about it earlier and apologized for not telling the blonde earlier. Kakashi, going by his experiences with teams, had thought that Sakura or Sasuke had told the blonde about the seal. But that was not so and because of this omission of truth, the division, the pain caused by the betrayal of the boy that he considered very dear to his battered heart, the bonds that barely held the gennin together as a team were broken.

And even after all of that, thedecision to leave had been the hardest thing of all to come to.

Because that meant that the dream of family that was born from their assignment could _never_ become a reality.

In time, he felt better about it. The weight of Sasuke's rage and depression and Sakura's frustrations and insecurities bore down on him greatly before. Both often projected the feelings to the blonde and took out their issues on him.

Now he could _breathe_ freely and walk without feeling that hellish weight on his back.

He was _free._

As Naruto progressed in rank and started going on missions, he managed to attain some of the amenities that he had always wanted.

He was able to upgrade his barely livable apartment to a much larger and nicer place, much better than what he had been forced to live in for the vast majority of his life, through no fault of either himself or the Sandaime. The apartment that he grew up in was not much aesthetically but it was one of the safest places that the Sandaime could find in close distance to both the Hokage tower and the ANBU headquarters. And while it wasn't safe _all_ the time, it was definitely a hell of a lot better than if he had been forced to live at the village orphanage or even out on the streets.

He was sure that in either scenario, he would be dead by now.

In the time after his promotion, he had found that he was able to _enjoy_ living rather than just _existing_ and _getting by_ which was how he had been forced to live all his life.

It was nice.

Naruto enjoyed his home and his career and before he knew it a year had past and there was still no sign of Akatsuki. Some more time had past and a few months later, there was still no Akatsuki and while the blonde was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak, he wanted to know _why_ they weren't after him any longer.

It ate at him in a manner in such a manner that he had to do something about it and if that meant looking for Akatsuki then so be it, he'd go looking for them.

He began his search for them by carefully examining the spy networks that he had helped Jiraiya establish in his first expedition with the older man only to find nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

No sightings, no rumors, no weird things going on, the remaining Jinchuuriki from the other villages were fine and hadn't heard a thing about the organization either.

It was as though Akatsuki had dropped off the face of the earth.

The blonde had gone to Jiraiya and had the sannin look into it to no avail. Jiraiya wasn't able to find a single shred of information on Akatsuki as well and he was the greatest spymaster that Konoha had ever had.

Both men reported their findings, or lack or, to Tsunade and the three of them pondered for a good many days on what to do. The only course of action that they could take was to keep an ear out to their sources and to wait.

Naruto _hated_ waiting.

As did both the Toad Sannin and Slug Princess, but they did what they had to do so they did so.

Time passed and in time, Naruto managed to forget for a few brief moments that Akatsuki existed. It really was nice not to have to worry about them just popping out of a dark corner and dragging him away to his total and utter doom. But all good things must come to an end and a few weeks short of two years since the reported sign of Akatsuki, Gaara the now Kazekage of Sunagakure, had sent word that he had some _very_ interesting information on Akatsuki

The blonde couldn't help but wonder _what_ Gaara had managed to learn. He had no doubts that the red head had managed to find something, Gaara wouldn't have bothered to send word that he had any sort of information unless he had verified what he learned and was certain that it was something that would interest Konoha, most especially Naruto.

'Knowing Gaara…ah who the hell knows?!' Naruto whined inwardly.

"Oi brat, stop thinking so hard, I can practically smell the smoke from here!"

The younger shinobi turned and glared at the sannin, his left eye ticking in annoyance, "Like you have the right to say that when I can smell about 200 lbs of decaying pervert roasting in the sun!"

Silence reigned momentarily as Naruto just processed what he just said, _'What in the hell just came out of my mouth?!?!'_

"**BRAT!!"**

The blonde did as any other person in his situation would and ran for his life straight to Suna with an enraged Jiraiya rocketing after him, Rasengan in hand ready to murder his godson.

------

Kankuro yawned tiredly as he watched the barren horizon of the surrounding desert, the young jounin more than glad that his shift was almost over. The attempted abduction of Gaara by the Akatsuki resulted in the deaths of many ninja and the recovery process had been a slow one. For one thing, Suna was the smallest of all the hidden villages and didn't have a surplus of ninja that they could use to replace their fallen comrades, so it took a long time in order to wait for the remaining ninja to rise in rank or for new batches of gennin to graduate and fill in the gaps left by their deceased comrades.

That left the remaining ninja, Chunin and Jounin, who weren't badly injured regularly pulling double duty on missions and patrol in the like.

As the he resisted the urge to nod off, something in the horizon caught his attention. A golden blur was kicking up a giant dust cloud and rocketing towards the village at an inhuman rate of speed with a white blur was slowly catching up to it.

Kankuro was about to call an alert at the odd disturbance when he heard, "BRAT!! SLOW DOWN SO I CAN KILL YOU!!" and "HELL NO ERO-SANNIN!!! "

The puppeteer snorted at the spectacle that was the Gama Sannin Jiraiya and his apprentice Uzumaki Naruto. He then turned to the ninja standing beside him, openly gawking at the scene that the two Konoha ninja made, "Kai, go inform the Kazekage that his guests are arriving."

Kai, started at Kankuro's voice slightly before nodding and going.

Kankuro looked out into the desert to see Naruto avoiding the man behind him like the plague, "At least things won't be boring for a while."

------

**A/N: **Sorry that it took so long for this chapter to come out, but I like writing longer chapters 4000+ words and when you take into account going to University full time, ADHD, sporadic employment, writers block and neighbors that refuse to turn the music down at 2 a.m. under pain of death….well it hasn't been coming up roses to say the least. I really wanted to give you guys something to read, since you've all been so wonderful.


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